I want to believe that there are good people in this world.
That there are good men,
I know there are.
I just don’t think I’ll ever meet them.
No one in my family will.
My sister doesn’t have a phone.
He broke it.
He found out she lied about quitting her second job,
a second job she keeps only so she can pay the bills and still afford to hang out with him,
a second job she works only so she can buy nice things for her family and the people she loves,
and he exploded,
smashed her phone,
smashed her car keys.
He’s afraid he’ll hurt her one day.
And she’ll just sit there and take it.
I know she will.
She’d give anything for him.
What she sees in him I don’t know.
But she’d die to be with him.
She will die.
I don’t know if anyone understands how real this is to me.
She will die.
She’s going to die.
This just repeats in my head,
over and over and over.
I want to pick up the phone to talk to my mom.
But she’s the same.
Married to a man that does not love her.
threatens to kill her entire family,
kicks her out of the house whenever he feels like it,
throws pots, pans, anything short of a knife,
if she does something as simple as heat up a side-dish for dinner.
But he loves us.
He loves his family.
He just loses his temper.
They just get so angry.
I just want Michelle and my mom to be here with me,
here and happy.
I don’t think anyone understands that.
I don’t want to pick up the phone and hear that they hurt the two women I love the most in my life again.
Make it stop.