What I’m about to say, it’s offensive. I’m Sorry.
Sometimes I look at your parents and I'm envious, how lucky you are that they can be together because they love each other and they love you.
Sometimes I look at your parents and I'm jealous, how lucky you are that your parents separated when they needed to be.
My mom called me last night to tell me where the deed to our house and documents for the restaurant are. She also told me which family members owe us money, how payments for the car and my older sister's medical bills are paid. She added up all of our assets for me and told me to write it down. It felt like she was reading me her will.
I could tell she wanted to tell me so much more, she wanted me to help. But I'm still in college and these shoulders are too weak to carry her burden.
Sometimes I look at your parents and I wonder why my mother can't leave him when the love was never there and the threats and punches keep coming. I wonder why I can't hate him even when he loses his temper. I wonder for how many more years or days my mother will stay alive.
Maybe I think too much or maybe I’m just scared.
It's really difficult for me to look into someone's eyes because I'm afraid of what I'll see in them.
Judgement?
Hatred?
Love?
Lies?
Truth?
Infinite curiousity?
I'm afraid to make eye contact with people because it means I can't see what others are thinking or where others are looking. I get this feeling that I'm suddenly sucked into the world of the other person, a world I no longer have control of and nothing else matters.
I'm afraid that I'll look into the wrong eyes and never want to step back out.
Sometimes its not someone or something else but just faulty logic.
You're has happy as you decide to be.
You're a success no matter what.
Instead of just believing in yourself or trying - do, act, make it happen regardless of whether you or others acknowledge that the belief is there.
I can afford Crate & Barrel on my own, thanks.
Yesterday I got in another mini-argument with my roommate when we were walking by Crate & Barrel. I'm not sure if everyone knows what Crate & Barrel is but basically its a really expensive, gimmicky furniture store. Think IKEA but for real adults (as opposed to college students).
Me
: Haha yeah...maybe one day when I have a legit income, I'll be able to afford to shop there.Rooommate: It'll be your income and your husband's income--
Me: What do you mean? I could afford to shop there on my own when I have a full-time job.
Roommate: Maybe if you had a rich husband's income.
(This was all still said in a humorous/playful tone)
Me: You don't think I can afford to shop there on my own someday? (I'm seriously offended so I'm done joking around now)
Roommate: I'm just saying you'll need a husband to do it.
Me: Well I think I can do it, I mean it's an expensive place but its not like the sofa is covered in 24-karat gold. And I never said my whole house is going to be covered with Crate & Barrel stuff, I think I can afford a thing or two from there when I'm older.
Roommate: ...ok... (her tone was extremely offensive, like she was laughing at how adamant I was about having a high income when I'm older)
That seriously pissed me off. I don't even know where she was coming from. It's Crate & Barrel, not Prada, Gucci or Louis Vuitton.
Thanks for all the support. Not.
Just because you yourself don't plan on being capable of supporting yourself and a family on your own income doesn't mean that I can't. My man won't be a tool that I use to buy things for me, thanks. That's not how relationships work.
If I can afford college on my own and still manage to send home my leftover paycheck home to my mother while in college -- I, without a doubt, believe that I can make it in the world (financially) on my own.
One of the bitchiest things anyone has ever said to me.